Ahmad Khalid called me at the stated time to let me know he had to drive back to Takuli ( on Beaufort) at that exact time. I was a bit hesitated to ask because i was soooo sleepy, but then he told me this.
A.Khalid : Dia, aku kena suruh balik ke Takuli sekarang ni Dia...
Me : uhmmm... okay. err... (but i was interrupted)
A.Khalid : Mama ali meninggal sudah, Dia...
Me : Siapa?
A.Khalid : Mama ali, Dia.
Me : pasal apa?
A. Khalid : Ndak tau jugak, sesak nafas bilang...
Me : Innalillah wa innaillaihirojiun. (heart beats faster)
Mama Ali, the name that i recognized from the first met in Takuli, which was the first meeting with Ahmad as well, has passed away that morning. I was still in denial until Allahyarham's son, Ali called me, himself at 8.30am to make sure that i know that Mama Ali really passed away. I was shocked. Speechless. The only woman who stand by me all the way, who supported me, who helped me a lot all the while when i was doing my practical term in Beaufort last year. Not only that, she was the only one who supported the beginning of my relationship with Ahmad. I told mummy about it when the morning came. And she was sad. I was devastated. I wanted to go to the funeral, at least to pay my final respect to her, but I can't. Thinking that i'm gonna in a place where not many people know me, and no one will care, i thought maybe its not a good idea to ask for permission to go. Its too far, well actually not far for me. But we're talking about my parents here, so i'll just kept the intention to fade for itself. I thought i can be strong for myself and for everyone who knows Mama ali, but i can't. I broke down when i first took my bath. I just can't help the feeling of losing her. She was the only one who treated me so kind after all these while. May Allah rest her soul in peace, may she be placed among the good. Amin.
I miss you, Mama Ali. :'(
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